As the days pass by i find that i have to learn to be by myself and i really dont want to cling on to my children and grandchildren as well as my siblings and relatives and friends.As such i have to really make an effort to learn to cope with being by myself pretty much these days.In a couple of weeks my bibik will be leaving me to take over the duties of my son's bibik who is going to be taking her yearly leave and head back to Indinesia. Then after Ramadhan my bibik will go on home leave fo 2 whole months.
In the old days i used to feel so helpless and worried too.What with the house chores and the garden to take care of everyday the cooking and washing too. But now it is more of the compenionship that i will miss. She is very loyal to me and often cry over what i have been through. She is loyal and also caring in her own ways.
As of now i have started to fend for myself and am doing things without her. In the past we watch tv togerther and will sit till midnight esp watching GERAK kHAS.I hane stopped doing that and will only watch halfway then i will head for my bedroom and read a book or just watch tv in my room.I also would go out by myself and just go wandering around at the shops without really having any list in my hands of things to buy .
Come hari raya this year i may just buy a ticket and head for a far off place and be by myself .This is also with the objective of not making my children and siblings feel sad for me.Hari Raya is a joyous occation and i dont want anyone to feel sad for me so it is better for me to just be amongst strangers. I am still planning this strategy and i pray ALLAH will guide me and my plan will translate into reality.
Above all i am slowly learning to care for myself learning really about my inner feelings and trying to love my own company.Its tough as i am a people person and i just love crowd and i love to talk.Now and then i even talk to myself..............May ALLAH guide me and finally make me realise that i am my best friend..........
In the old days i used to feel so helpless and worried too.What with the house chores and the garden to take care of everyday the cooking and washing too. But now it is more of the compenionship that i will miss. She is very loyal to me and often cry over what i have been through. She is loyal and also caring in her own ways.
As of now i have started to fend for myself and am doing things without her. In the past we watch tv togerther and will sit till midnight esp watching GERAK kHAS.I hane stopped doing that and will only watch halfway then i will head for my bedroom and read a book or just watch tv in my room.I also would go out by myself and just go wandering around at the shops without really having any list in my hands of things to buy .
Come hari raya this year i may just buy a ticket and head for a far off place and be by myself .This is also with the objective of not making my children and siblings feel sad for me.Hari Raya is a joyous occation and i dont want anyone to feel sad for me so it is better for me to just be amongst strangers. I am still planning this strategy and i pray ALLAH will guide me and my plan will translate into reality.
Above all i am slowly learning to care for myself learning really about my inner feelings and trying to love my own company.Its tough as i am a people person and i just love crowd and i love to talk.Now and then i even talk to myself..............May ALLAH guide me and finally make me realise that i am my best friend..........
No comments:
Post a Comment